Are you looking for validation in the wrong places Feature Image

Are you looking for validation in the wrong places?

Kristin A Bigger Conversation, Empowering Self

Uncover three easy steps to validate yourself starting today!
“A Bigger Conversation…”

I was once there.  I absolutely required validation from the most important people in my life.  Whether it was in my personal life or in my professional life, I needed to be validated by others.  I likely couldn’t fathom the idea of self-validation during this time because what people thought about me was my stamp of approval.  Boy was I wrong.  Have you been there?

When I received approval, acceptance, and validation from others it served as a confirmation I was on the right path doing the right thing.  In fact, many of the decisions I needed to make were often presented to some of the closest people in my life for their final approval.  I cannot tell you how many good ideas went down the drain when the reaction was not what I anticipated it would be, so I just let the ideas die a slow death.

Playing the “approval from others” card is not only exhausting, but it limits your potential.  I believe inner validation is the fuel to your soul.  You know what you are capable of and you know when you need to make a change.  Seeking approval from others will slow you down.  It is OK to bounce ideas off people, do not get me wrong, but bouncing ideas and needing people to validate you are entirely two different things.

Think about it for a moment.  How many times do you think you were stopped because you didn’t get the response you wanted from someone?  How many times did your excitement just simply fade away because the reaction from someone you really loved was less than what you had hoped for after sharing your ideas?  Did you just stop right then and there?  Did you forget that you also had a voice?

Some of the best conversations happen within and this is why self-validation is no joke.  When you quit trying to please others, by getting their stamp of approval, you start to re-channel the energy internally. You start to move mountains in your life, while crushing obstacles.  You release the bondage this practice truly has over you.  Quit practicing approval.

I speak from experience.  I looked for certain reactions from my loved ones and when the positive reactions didn’t exist, I felt like my excitement bubble deflated!    When this would happen, I decided I wasn’t great or what I launched wasn’t going to be great.  If the most important people in my life barely took the time to care then why would anyone else care?  I was completely grounded from my work and my ambition became non-existent until I accepted a new core value in my life, which was to live by self-validation.

People are stuck in this world living a non-thriving life because the opinions of others matter more to them than living their best life.  What people think of them yields their next steps, if they take any at all.  Please do not let this become you. Have the bigger conversation internally and validate your own journey.  Trust you.  Trust your own opinion of yourself and know that you are worth your dreams and your own happiness. You no longer need to let validation from others become your catalyst for positive movement in your life.  So how are you going to do it?  I am so glad you asked.  Roll up your sleeves.

#1:  Take a Time-Out:
We all need the quiet space and time.  When you are contemplating something new in your life, trust you are your best resource.  You know your own needs.  You know the happiness you are searching for and the “why” behind it.

#2:  Be Your Own Advocate:
Fire the people you put in charge to validate you on your journey.  The only person, who needs to validate you, is you.  Learn how to coach yourself at times.  Learn how to get in your own face and tell yourself you can do it.  When you feel down in the dumps, look yourself in the mirror and talk yourself right back up.

#3:  Shed the Attached Outcome
When we look for validation and approval from others, it means we are attached to their opinion and the outcome of the conversation.  Shed it.  You do not need it to take action.  You need to be attached to your own “why” and that is it.  Boom!

There you have it, my friend.  Be your own cheerleader.  Until next time…

XOXO,

Kristin